Throughout my years of studying, teaching, parenting, and general life-ing, one thing has stood out above all else: language holds power. The way we speak to ourselves—and to others—can shape the entire quality of our lives.
Now, you might be wondering what I’m on about here, or maybe even cringing at the thought of an English lesson (especially if grammar never was your thing!). But don’t worry—this isn’t a test. It’s simply an invitation to explore the way we use our words, and how even small shifts in language can spark big change.
Start With You
Let’s begin with the voice in your own head. Our minds can be incredible allies—but often, they’re hijacked by a familiar voice I call the inner mean girl. She’s the one who pipes up with:
- “Who do you think you are?”
- “You can’t do that.”
- “Stop trying to be someone you’re not.”
Sound familiar?
Here’s what many people don’t realise: we have the power to change that voice. Not by silencing it completely, but by flipping the script. For example:
- “Who do you think you are?” becomes → “I’m someone who’s learning and giving it a go.”
- “You can’t do that” becomes → “I can’t do that… yet.”
- “Stop trying to be someone you’re not” becomes → “I’m constantly growing and evolving.”
Try saying those kinder versions out loud. Notice the difference in how they feel? Imagine saying the original harsh phrases to a child or a friend—you wouldn’t! So why say them to yourself?
Awareness is the first step. And once we’re aware, we can start choosing kinder, more empowering words—every single day.
The Words We Share
Now, let’s zoom out and look at how we speak to others. Because words don’t just float in the air—they land. Sometimes deeply.
Think back to a time someone said something kind and genuine to you. Maybe a teacher who saw your potential. A friend who reminded you of your strength. Even a stranger who complimented your energy. That one moment might have lifted your spirits for the whole day—or stayed with you for years.
And on the flip side, can you remember a time someone said something careless or critical? A passing comment that stung more than they realised? That sticks too.
The truth is:
Language can connect or divide. Encourage or discourage. Build someone up… or wear them down.
This becomes even more important when speaking to children. These little humans are still figuring out who they are—and they’re listening closely. Not just to what we say, but how we say it.
- “You’re so messy” becomes → “Looks like you’re still learning how to be tidy.”
- “Stop crying” becomes → “It’s okay to feel big emotions—I’m here with you.”
It’s not about being overly delicate or walking on eggshells. It’s about pausing, choosing words with intention, and recognising the weight they carry.
Awareness = Power
Here’s the best part: this isn’t about perfection. It’s about awareness.
Awareness gives us choice. And choice gives us power.
So the next time your inner mean girl shows up—or you find yourself about to speak on autopilot—pause. Take a breath. Ask yourself:
- Is this kind?
- Is this helpful?
- Is this how I would want to be spoken to?
If the answer is no, that’s okay. You always have the power to choose again—to use softer words, a gentler tone, a more empowering message.
Because yes, language is powerful…
But you? You are more powerful still.
Use your words to build.
To nurture.
To grow.
And start with yourself.